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Is CO-PARENTING possible?


Marriage can, sometimes, come to an end due to many reasons and separation is inevitable. Co-parenting follows.

Divorce is a reality as 40 percent of couples go through a divorce as of 2021.

Divorce is a reality as 40 percent of couples go through a divorce as of 2021. It is not an easy process, but keeping the children at the center of all this makes it all worth it.

The children need both parents to provide a secure, stable, and loving growth environment.

Understanding co-parenting

This refers to a form of parenting where both parents are active participants in the children’s lives after separation or divorce.

Co-parenting can be exhausting, stressful, and tiring especially if you have a bitter relationship with your ex.

I know that our parenting systems are different i.e. one parent may want to give a child all he/she wants while the other may want to give only what is necessary. So, how do you agree with such conflicting views?

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Co-parenting is allowed when there is no violence involved or any form of drug abuse. This is to ensure the safety of the children.

Tips on making co-parenting work

Learn to keep the anger aside

This might seem impossible if the relationship ended on such a bad note. It is quite hard to heal the pain of a broken heart while being a good parent to the child.

Taking some time off after the breakup is important. This could mean therapy, exercise, solo travels, talking to a church leader meditation and yoga. This helps in dealing with the anger and clearing it off.

Keep your children’s needs first

This helps the children know that they are wanted and loved by the parents more than any existing issue. This love for them will last long.

Work on having a good communication

This should be consistent, purposeful, and always about the children. Right before any talks, ask yourself how this will help the children. It could be over the phone or face-to-face conversation.

Effective communication methods
  • Make requests
  • Listen
  • Learn to control yourself
  • Communicate like a business partner
  • Work as a team

Co-parenting means the children are raised by both parents, so decisions are made together. This involves education, healthcare, forms of discipline, rules, schedules among others.

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Explain transitions to the kids

Co-parenting involves sharing time and various important holidays such as Christmas.

What are the benefits of good co-parenting?
  • Gives security to children. The confidence and love from each parent make the children adjust quicker and easier. This eventually helps with their self-esteem.
  • Consistency breeds discipline. When parents decide their parenting methods, the children know how to act and the rewards they get.
  • Seeing their parents flourish in problem-solving helps with their problem solving as kids and as they advance to adulthood.
  • Creates a good example for them to emulate of building strong relationships.
  • Building a quality relationship has a direct impact on how the kids grow emotionally and mentally.