Home Sex & Love Rape among men, the taboo and society’s double standard

Rape among men, the taboo and society’s double standard


I have noticed that in Kenya,when a man comes forth and says he has been raped,instead of people focusing on the rapist, unfortunately, they focus on the man,the victim of the heinous crime.

This gives the sex offender time to not only escape justice but spacious room to continue defiling other men and even young helpless boys.

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At extreme end, the criminal even defile infants and get away with it since the society concentrate on shamming the victim rather than the perpetrator.

People in the society make fun of a grown male victim of rape,ridicule him and some even ask a stupid question.

“How can a man be raped?” You must be very ignorant to ask such a question.

As a matter of fact, a man can indeed be raped by a woman/women or by other men. It happens and, men have been raped since the beginning of time.

Sexual violation against men include raping, sexual slavery, enforced nudity and the use of force to perform sexual acts.

We hide it out of “shame” because we grow up in a society where the boy child should “never cry” or be vulnerable.

Without any shame left in them, some people will ask, “how a grown up man say to be raped, in broad daylight, doesn’t he feel ashamed of himself by uttering such abomination?

For instance, if something is stolen from you, should you be ashamed or the case is reported?

Between you and the thief who should be ashamed? The victim or the rapist? The criminal must be punished by the law.

We terribly need to be educated as a society about the issue and how well it should be responded to. More awareness must be created so that people understand the existence of male victims of sexual violence.

The victim has been violated for whatever reason, he was violated and deserves justice and support, and not to be shamed and silenced.The reason he was raped can never justify the act of rape.

Whether he was drugged first or ambushed in the dark by a gang or tricked, it does not matter.

The evil deed is done and we should always go after the attacker or offender and not the victim.

From the double standard of the society, sexual violence against men and boys were majorly neglected by the healthcare providers, government agencies, criminal justice authorities and non-governmental organizations.

I came to realize that, we human beings, we continually try to deny anything that shocks us, make us uncomfortable or that is too devastating for our minds to process.

In order to sleep well at night,we try to block out reality and refuse to accept some of the horrors of this world including raping of men, women and little children.

I guarantee you that as much as we try to hide from the reality, it won’t go away, until we face it.

Don’t be the proverbial ostrich that sticks its head in the sand hoping that the attacker would disappear.

It is unfortunate that others are making it look funny. Nothing funny about sexually violating someone. Do not try to laugh it off so that your mind is not disturbed by the horrific reality instead fight it and stop it.

Men have been found gang raped by other men and tied to a tree left for dead while some sodomized to death.The day your father, son or someone you love and care for, God forbid, gets raped, I doubt you will find it funny then.

I suggest, the energy you use to try and convince yourself that such things do not exist or that the victims of rape are all liars, should be directed towards fighting the evil act and safeguarding innocent lives from destruction, humiliation and injustices.

Speak up, fight it and help in any way u can. A better world is achieved through everyday good deeds.

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