Home Sex & Love Social media: the error of blue-ticks and the loss of self-love

Social media: the error of blue-ticks and the loss of self-love


Don’t be afraid to lose him, because if a man truly loves you, he’s not going anywhere. ~ Steve Harvey, Act like a lady, think like a man.

He has not replied to your text and it’s been what now, 24 hours? 48 hours? He has definitely read your messages because clearly, there are blue ticks or you don’t know because they are hidden.

While it is tempting to stalk them on social media and see if they’ve moved on, and they’ve posted a picture of smoothies and lattes on Instagram but lack time to reply to your text? If she/he had an ounce of decency in them, they’d text back.

Social media, dating apps and the culture of ‘hook ups’ have killed chivalry, devalued sex and left women with the phrase, ‘women are dogs.’

Whilst the right thing would be honesty and being straightforward about ending the relationship, most people fall of the grid, string others along if they don’t have another catch in the horizon, or because they don’t want to be labeled as the bad person.

Others will keep them around so as to have their egos rubbed with compliments.

Listen. If you’ve been snubbed for 24 hours, or your text has been ignored; I say MOVE ON! You may check up on them, if they’re okay, or sick but don’t bombard them with messages.

No one is ever too busy. Nigerian Vice President Yemi Osinbajo is a Pastor at RCCG (Redeemed Christian Church of God) so exactly what kind of busy are we talking about?

If they call/text you only on Fridays because they don’t have something to do on the weekends, or for some ‘Netflix and Chill,’ escape.

Love yourself enough to know that you don’t need a person to complete you. You don’t need a better half. You are whole, you are complete. Spend time with yourself, date yourself.

Take yourself out and celebrate your mini accomplishments and your baby steps. If you are always spending all your time with people personal positive contribution couldn’t be realized.

Spending time alone helps you find your purpose in life. Yesterday I went for a manicure at Red Velvet Nakuru and what struck me was a writing on the wall: Drink water, lather yourself in coconut oil, treat your real hair well, get your nails done, read books, start a business, mind yours. These tips sound like the go to tips on self growth and self improvement.  I know coconut oil smells so bad but we can swap that with olive oil.

When it comes to dating and choosing a life partner, you have to make choices. Whether to date the godly way or the worldly way, commuting, how much time you spend together etc.

You also have to bring something to the table apart from physique and money. Are you helping your partner achieve his/her vision or purpose in life? His/her Godly assignment?

Who is your husband/wife? That man/woman whose maturity, depth and patience equals your own is your husband/wife says Devon and Meagan Franklin.

There is nothing mature about a man or woman who replies to a text message or a missed phone call two weeks later.

I give someone 24 hours and there better be a great explanation behind it. Falling off the grid and coming back after two weeks is emotional abuse.

Be mature enough to admit that things are not working out and if you’re ghosted, don’t be an enabler, love yourself first.

By Serah N. Nderi, sarahngima77@gmail.com


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